Sunday, December 31, 2006

memento mori

As the final hours of the year slip through my fingers my thoughts turn to the way we mark our days.

I recall that I first started keeping a diary around easter 1993. At that time I would catalogue all my highs and lows, dips and disappointments in a series of A6 notebooks. I used a rainbow of whatever pens came to reach and my handwriting was as erratic as my mood. I wrote every day without fail. I never had nothing to say.



Sometime since I graduated to A5 notebooks, my handwriting has stabilised and I only write in black ball point. Currently my days are trapped between the pages of a book with cold corrugated metal covers. But with every progressive year I write less and less often. In 2003 I made 23 entries. In 2004 only four. In 2005 I wrote on 3 days. And in this past year I have not visited that paper palace even once.

Which leads me to wonder…

Where do they go when a poet loses her words? Where does it end up when a philosopher loses his train of thought? Are my diaries getting larger even as I have less to say? and where will this ultimately lead? Will I spend 2007 spray painting a slogan on a brick wall? and the year after scrawling silence across the sky?

3 comments:

fallen angel said...

'scrawling silence across the sky'

what an amazing phrase.

i could spend a lifetime listening to your nothingness.

Natalia L. Rudychev said...

There's time for words and time for silence. I love the way you express things that torment many and have no answer. It was wonderful to dive into your text.

Marcia said...

Your phrases, poetic; the conclusions drawn, logical, but I wonder if the "scrawling silence across the sky" is only to balance the internet's mass.

I admire you poetry, your writing, it is easy to connect to; it promotes thought.